You tend to lose the element of surprise when it comes to gift-giving in long term relationships. If you’re living with your partner, all the great hiding places for presents in the home are probably already known to them. That, and after years and years of gift-giving, you’ve likely both swapped out spontaneity for the pretty convenient option of being able to just ask for what you want and receive it.
But if you have been finding yourself looking up ideas for great gifts for him or her online to reclaim some sense of surprise or spontaneity to your next present, then this is the guide for you. Today, we’ll be sharing how you can master the art of surprise gift-giving in your long term relationship. So stick with us as we outline some of the top ways to really surprise your partner the next time you present them with a smartly wrapped package, a well-worded letter, or just a spontaneous date idea that lets them know you love them.
Give gifts that just say ‘I was thinking about you’
Have you ever been doing your weekly shopping run and found yourself stopping at a store window because you’ve just seen something your partner might like? It could be something small like a bit of office stationery, a new video game, or even an item of clothing you know is in their size and would perfectly compliment their wardrobe.
If you do happen to feel that feeling of ‘this would be a great spontaneous gift’ again, then set the plan in motion! Giving gifts that make your partner feel seen and known will naturally also make them feel loved. These kinds of spontaneous gifts are also great for letting your partner know that you think about them as you go about your own day. And after years or even decades together, that reminder that even on your days apart you’re still in each other’s hearts, truly is a gift in itself.
Pick up their favourite foods on a whim
And this whole idea of giving gifts that just catch your eye doesn’t just stop at material things either. The next time you do a grocery run, why not add a few snacks or their favourite gourmet ice cream into your basket? Or perhaps even go out of your way to pick up a pastry or a doughnut from their favourite bakery.
Picking up their favourite snacks or food items on a whim can be a great way of incorporating little gifts into you and your partner’s daily routine. In short, this vein of spontaneous gift-giving is great for professional couples who may be more time-poor and don’t have the capacity to plan elaborate surprise dates.
Gift in accordance with their love languages
That being said, the best gifts don’t necessarily have to be the most elaborate or expensive gifts either. The best gifts are those that consider their recipient, and are perhaps even personalised to that recipient. And when it comes to romantic gift-giving, there’s no better way to really personalise your gift to your partner than by making sure your gift aligns with their love languages.
There are 5 primary love languages. We’ll be sharing all five love languages below as well as suggesting great gift ideas that relate to each of these love languages:
- Words of affirmation – sharing positive words verbally or through writing. Great gift ideas for this love language include hand-written letters, personalised wall art, cute capsule messages in a bottle, etc.
- Acts of service – thoughtful acts that make your partner feel cared for. These can be anything from chores to proactive actions like filling up their petrol tank or making dinner. Great gift ideas for this love language include planning your own date night, planning a couples getaway, making dinner at home, etc.
- Gift giving – giving or receiving of a sentiment or a visual symbol of your love. Great gift ideas for this love language include jewellery, personalised gifts, concert tickets, or other experiential gifts.
- Quality time – the opportunity to spend dedicated time with your partner with no distractions. Great gift ideas for this love language also include experiential gifts that allow for quality time (i.e. fun date night ideas like mini golf or attending a carnival, or even enjoying a meal together at their favourite restaurant).
- Physical touch – a love language that’s characterised by physical touch and physical intimacy. Great gift ideas for this love language include luxury blankets, self-care or pamper products (i.e. soaps, bath bombs, scented candles), clothing, or even coupons for massages, back rubs, etc.
Understanding your partner’s love languages can help you find the perfect gifts for them no matter the occasion – even if it’s just a Tuesday afternoon and you want to give them a little something to let them know you love them.
Give gifts you know they wouldn’t buy themselves
Finally, the best gifts tend to have one of two contradictory qualities: they’re either something we know we need or want but have put off purchasing or experiencing ourselves, or they’re something we know or want but would never buy ourselves. Whilst the former is a great way of showing that you’re invested in your partner’s life and that you listen to them whenever they may be thinking out loud, the latter is a great way to spoil them!
Our advice is to vary up your gift-giving game between these two types of gifts. If you feel like coming home with a diamond necklace or even a collector’s edition lightsaber one weekday evening, then go for it! And then for their next birthday, you can get them a copy of a book you know they’ve been meaning to read for a while. Switch it up between mundane and extravagant from occasion to occasion to make sure you keep your partner both on their toes and feeling extra spoiled. But just make sure they haven’t bought your gift themselves too!
The art of surprise gift-giving in long term relationships can naturally take some time to master. You have to finesse your gift-giving skills from season to season, and make sure you’re deepening your intimacy with your partner with every ing year, taking in all the ways they change and grow and how their tastes may be impacted as a result.
So long as you’re present and invested in your relationship, however, there’s no reason why you won’t be able to introduce some spontaneous gift-giving into your day-to-day.